"When You Can Tell Your Story Without Crying, You'll Be Cured"

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Emotional wounds may take longer to heal than body wounds. Damage caused by scorn, loss or failure leaves deep scars that are not easy to close. At times, we may think that pain is already part of the past, but when we have to talk about it we come to discover that the wound still controls us.

The problem is that if we hurry we run the risk of causing more damage or even harming the people around us. If we have not yet outgrown an old relationship and ventured into another, we are more likely to pull off all this negative emotional charge and sabotage the new relationship until it is gone.

So we are likely to end up collecting a series of failures and disappointments, to the point of thinking that there is a problem in us, when in fact what happened is that we were not prepared to start over. To open a new chapter of our life, we need to close the old chapters. If we look back to the past, if the ghost of yesterday pursues us, we can not take advantage of all the good that the future holds for us.

How do I know if I'm ready to start over?

Sometimes when we suffer from great disappointment or disappointment, the pain is so strong that all we want to do is move on. This can make us disconnect from our interior and seek hasty stimuli that distract us from the problem. As a result, we may deceive ourselves and believe that the situation is settled like this.

The desire to feel better and to leave the past behind may prevent us from realizing that we are not yet ready to start over and that we need more time. That is why we rush to make decisions, we do not perceive the signs that indicate that we have not yet overcome what happened to us.

However, one of the unmistakable signs that emotional wounds have been closed is when we can tell this story without experiencing the intense emotions that blocked us in the beginning.

If it is a major loss, for example, you will know that you have overcome it when you can tell what happened without crying or experiencing that sadness of the earliest times, when there is only nostalgia in its place.

When it comes to the end of a couple, for example, you will know that you turned the page when, instead of remembering all the negative things, you can remember the positive things you feel you have done.

To know that you have healed yourself inside, you need to feel inner peace again, to regain the mental balance you have lost. Reconnect with your inner self without being afraid of the emotions you have experienced and become comfortable with yourself.

These sensations do not lie, they are a reliable indicator that you've put the broken pieces together and are ready to start over, whether it's a new relationship, a new work project, or even a new life elsewhere.

Words as sign of emotional recovery

We do not recover in the same way after suffering an emotional breakdown. Some people need your space and do not want to solve the problem immediately. In fact, when it comes to deep wounds, talking about what happened in the early stages may be virtually impossible. You may feel a lump in your throat that prevents you from telling what happened. It's normal.

In a way, this reluctance to talk about the traumatic event can act as a defense mechanism that protects us to keep us from reliving the situation that is hurting us. Neuroscientists at Harvard University have discovered how painful traces of trauma remain imprinted in our brain.

They have appreciated that when people have not overcome the traumatic situation, talk about the causes active emotional areas of the brain such as the amygdala and the visual cortex while the language area, such as the drill area, is deactivated.

To process the trauma implies transforming it into a narrative experience that finds a space in our life history. This means that, sooner or later, we must talk about what happened, because only then can we process it and withdraw it from its enormous emotional impact.

So the possibility of talking about the situation that caused so much damage is also an indicator that we are healing ourselves internally.

In a way, this reluctance to talk about the traumatic event can act as a defense mechanism that protects us to keep us from reliving the situation that is hurting us. Neuroscientists at Harvard University have discovered how painful traces of trauma remain imprinted in our brain.

They have appreciated that when people have not overcome the traumatic situation, talk about the causes active emotional areas of the brain such as the amygdala and the visual cortex while the language area, such as the drill area, is deactivated.

To process the trauma implies transforming it into a narrative experience that finds a space in our life history. This means that, sooner or later, we must talk about what happened, because only then can we process it and withdraw it from its enormous emotional impact.

So the possibility of talking about the situation that caused so much damage is also an indicator that we are healing ourselves internally.